story starters
(i got a lot of asks for these, so here ya go) (…i really tried to be serious for the entire post but)
- I screwed up.
- There are three things you need to know before you read this.
- How do I tell a well-structured story when life is absolute chaos?
- I know what you came here for.
- He was an unfortunate lad.
- It came in the mail.
- A lot can happen during a lifetime.
- This is the story of how I died. Don’t worry, though! I came back.
- Once upon a time… there was humanity.
- It all started at the end.
- You ever seen those commercials where people screw up the simplest of tasks in the most idiotic fashion ever? Yeah, that’s basically what happened here.
- “Why are we here?”
- Let me just be perfectly clear that this was not my fault.
- This isn’t a good story.
- You’re here, that’s good. Now we can start.
- “You should’ve stopped when you still could.”
- It was a trap.
- It was a normal day, as long as you ignore the fact that it wasn’t.
- They didn’t warn you, my dear reader?
- Something’s trying to kill me.
- I’m not a particularly good story teller, but I’ll try my best.
- *record scratch* *freeze frame* Yep, that’s me. No, not the vague figure you’re imagining now from the zero amount of information I’ve given you, and no, I’m not the heroic yet relatable main-character you’d expect either. I’m the one that’s currently, and quite poetically, hiding in the corner of a chicken den. Yeah, that’s the one.
